I have been sober for over 5 years and the things I discovered about myself in sobriety are surprisingly pleasant.
Who am I kidding? I am fucking awesome and when you recover from addiction, you are badass too.
If you are anything like me, addiction tore you down. Took you places that you never dreamed possible and not in a good way. Yet, there’s always a silver lining. From the bad, comes the good.
Here are 8 things I discovered about myself in sobriety and if you aren’t there yet. You will be. Don’t give up on staying clean. It is so worth it.
8 Amazing Things I Discovered About Myself In Sobriety
So, let’s get straight to it.
1. I Have A FUTURE.
This might sound stupid at first but think about it. At your lowest point in addiction, did you have hope for a future? Did you ever think you could be somebody?
I sure as hell didn’t. After being an addict for so long, things got worse and worse. I accepted life for what it was and didn’t expect on it going anywhere or getting any better.
That time in my life consisted of doing what I had to do to survive and stay high (or not sick). That was it. If I died, it was meant to be. The end.
Damn, is that sick?
Having no hopes, no dreams, no expectations. Now, I have ALL of that and then some. The thought of what’s in store for me gives me butterflies. It is going to kick-ass. There is no doubt in my mind that I will achieve great things.
Say it with me:
I AM NO LONGER AN ADDICT. I STRIVE TO REACH MY GOALS AND ACCOMPLISH MY DREAMS. MY FUTURE WILL BE A BADASS SUCCESS AND I WILL THRIVE IN LIFE. (Repeat this over and over and over until you know without any doubt, that it is the truth.)
2. I AM STRONGER THAN I EVER FUCKING THOUGHT
In addiction, how many times have you cried? Put yourself in situations that you didn’t want to be a part of? How many times did you think that your life was over?
It’s not a hypothetical question. Seriously, try to recall all of those moments. I bet you can’t ever count the number of times you have felt that way,
But, guess what? You made it. I made it.
Whether you believe in God or not. I’m sure you believe in something, in a power greater than you. (No, I am not running a 12-step program – I don’t do NA – I do me. lol) This is the point.
GOD ONLY GIVES THE TOUGHEST BATTLES TO HIS STRONGEST SOLDIERS.
Personally, I never thought for a second that I would make it out of heroin addiction alive. Never. But I did.
I had to make it out of hell without being a demon. Change my ENTIRE life and way of thinking but I did it. Yep, I am one tough ass little bitch. And if you did the same thing then I know that you are too.
Flaunt your strength with the Beautiful Disaster Stronger Collection at bdrocks.com. Don’t forget to use Unjunkiefied’s discount code at checkout for $$ off your order. NEWYOU No caps No spaces.
Take pics and post them on Unjunkiefied’s fb page. #beautifuldisaster #unjunkiefied #rebelstyle
3. I KNOW WHO I TRULY AM
Once you get deep enough into the drug game, life is a bit chaotic.
You basically burn all your bridges, you lose everything, no family, no kids, bounce around from place to place, in and out of jails, prison, rehabs, and halfway houses. If you have been there, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Due to all of that, I have been across the state, from city to city, and even to different states. I would always end up somewhere new, planning on making a fresh start but, then hook up with people just like me and start the chaos all over again.
I used to think that my ability to adapt to any situation or new place was a strength of mine. Now, I see that it was anything but that.
I wasn’t being myself. Hell, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was a junkie, always looking for a way to get what I needed. If I happened to not be on drugs, I was setting up the scenario or manipulating people so they would be of use to me at a future date. It was sick and twisted.
Now, I know who I am. I have morals, values, beliefs, goals, pride, self-love, and I am content and relieved to just be me.
I was constantly running and trying to get away from one person, ME.
Truthfully, I had to break into tiny little minuscule pieces and put back together differently so I could be ME. The real me.
4. People Do Change
Of course, people change. That is simply common sense. You get older, your looks change, your personality may change, and so on. You are not going to be exactly the same person at 60 that you were at 16. I mean, no shit. Really?
What I’m talking about is a bit different. I mean changing completely. People doing a total switch-a-roo and basically becoming the opposite of what/who they were.
For example, I’m sure you have heard the cliche “Once a cheater, always a cheater” or “It runs in the family” or “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”. Or the fact that the majority of convicts are repeat offenders. It’s a revolving door. Or think about how many times you have been in rehab. Addicts usually go to rehab more than once, myself included.
This all justifies my reasoning for being an addict for so damn long. Not only was it my routine and even though my life was chaotic, it was familiar.
Dare I say comfortable? People are afraid of change. It’s the fear of the unknown.
More importantly, change is fucking rough. It is uncomfortable, hard work, unfamiliar, and uncertain. You don’t know what’s going to happen. All you can do is have a plan and go after it.
Yet, it is possible and changing from addiction to recovery is so worth it. Bad people can become good. Poor people can become wealthy (without winning the lottery, although that would be great).
You can change your bad past into a life that is badass.
It is possible to turn your life around.
I am real living proof.
For the ultimate collection of online recovery resources, get the free download by signing up below. Plus, you will become part of the Unjunkiefied fam, getting access to the resource library full of freebies to help you in life after addiction AND you will receive the Unjunkiefied newsletter, freebies, and special deals.
5. Someone Will Love Me For Me
As a drug addict, criminal, convicted felon, homeless, ignorant, conceited twenty-something year old, I wasn’t a nice person.
Honestly, I didn’t care about anybody but my damn self.
Love me? I was not worthy of love. How could someone love me when I couldn’t even love myself?
Or how about all the messed up relationships you have in active addiction because you are co-dependent? Only with a person to support your habit?
How about being with a complete fucking loser or in an abusive relationship because you thought you didn’t deserve any better?
Now I know that I deserve more. A relationship where the love is mutual and we have boundaries.
You deserve a person that loves your flaws, your imperfections, the good and the bad. You are deserving of it and it will happen. Trust me.
But, you must learn to love yourself so you know what you want + need in a partner. Got it?
6. I Am An Inspiration
If you overcame obstacles in your life and turned them into opportunities for success, then you are an inspiration.
Currently, I live in the area where I grew up. The town where everyone knew me as the asshole who was a heroin addict. I did not want to come back here. Mostly, because I have children and did not want them to be scrutinized due to my past.
My husband said something that made me think. He said, “I do not know anyone that would belittle you or put you down due to all that you have accomplished and overcome. If some child’s parents do not want our children around their kids due to your past. Then, they aren’t people we want our kids around anyway”.
From that moment on, I quit worrying about it and while I’m sure people whisper and say stuff behind my back. My children have NOT faced adversity due to my mistakes. I have overcome my hell and use my story as an inspiration to lead others out of their mess.
I am proud of who I have become and everything I have + will accomplish. My story is an inspiration to others. Your story is an inspiration too. Use it as that. Let others be motivated + inspired by your factual tale.
7. I AM A SUCCESS
Growing up, I’m sure you had someone who told you the sky is the limit. You can be anything you want to be.
Due to the dirt, we did in addiction, our opportunities may become limited but, that does NOT mean we can not be successful.
The truth of the matter is hard work pays off and good things happen to good people. Remember that.
Don’t say you will never be successful. You can and will be a badass success. Truthfully, you will have to work harder but, that will make it so much gratifying when you achieve success.
Don’t forget to get your collection of online recovery resources, access to the badass Unjunkiefied FREE resource library, the newsletter, and more.
8. My Life Is Just Beginning
How many times in active addiction did you pray for it to end? You just wanted it to stop. You just didn’t know how to make it better.
There were plenty of times when I would have chosen to die rather than go on. When another person I knew tragically died because of an overdose, it didn’t phase me. It was part of the game.
Heroin addicts play a game of Russian roulette with their life non-stop.
I don’t know about you but I figured if I went out of this world. I would go out high and happy. It’s fucking sick thinking about it now.
It wasn’t until I finally got clean for good and began to work on myself, overcome my obstacles, and move on from the bullshit that a lightbulb went off in my head.
I don’t think about the time I wasted in addiction. I cherish the fact that I am now able to slay my goals and live my dreams.
This ride is only beginning and I can’t wait to live it out.